Posts tagged ‘chores’

October 5, 2012

Encouraging a Child’s Creativity

Real creativity starts with passion, with a keen interest in learning something, and then taking it farther. So the starting place for parents who want to encourage creativity in a child is to expose her to as many different kinds of experience as possible—scientific, musical, visual, physical, etc., —so she has enough knowledge to figure out what really interests her.

From there, it’s about giving her what she needs to take her interests as far as she can. If it’s painting, see if she’d like art classes, and try to make that happen. Get an easel if that’s helpful, and enough paints or crayons or pencils, and paper so she can explore and develop her skills. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You and your child can exercise your creativity in solving the problem of getting the right kinds of supplies. What you need to do is provide as much support and encouragement as you can.

Give her the opportunities, challenges, and support she needs to work hard at what interests her, and discover if she wants to take it farther. Your belief in her ability to go forward is what’s important in the early stages. Do what you can to help her learn as much as she can possibly learn about her area of interest. The more a person knows, the more they have with which to be creative.

As your child gets farther along in her mastery, she’ll discover conflicts and ambiguities, the way that ‘truths’ appear to contradict other ‘truths’. It’s good to start by understanding the rules in the domain—e.g., musical scales, or grammatical standards—but then it’s good to break those rules. This is confusing and difficult until she’s learned to tolerate ambiguity, and can let it be okay that apparently opposing ideas are both valid.

Although knowledge is essential to creativity, it is also a double-edged sword—too much knowledge can limit creativity. So help your child keep growing, keep moving forward in her learning, thinking, exploring, and developing. That means generating lots of ideas, reframing problems as they’re encountered, and it also means learning to critically analyze her ideas. Nobody has good ideas all the time. Some are worth pursuing. Some aren’t. Help her learn to think about her ideas, and ask herself and others if they’re worth developing before she proceeds.

Once she’s far enough along to have a reasonable level of proficiency, help her learn to share her creative work with others. Communicating her work with others—whether it’s dance, writing, or math problem-solving—allows her to take it to the next stage, and opens up further possibilities for growth and learning. When others start reacting to what she produces—her ideas, her songs, her inventions—she’ll learn more about where it might need more work, and where she wants to invest more effort.

Every innovator encounters opposition, so as she moves farther along in her creativity, your child also needs to learn how to believe in her ideas, take sensible risks, surmount obstacles, and stay strong in the face of opposition.

The very best thing you can do to encourage your child’s creativity is to apply all these recommendations to yourself. Find your passion, and pursue it as far as you can. Learn more about it, develop skills and expertise, decide what rules you want to break, and share your ideas and products with others. Challenge yourself to keep growing. Find ways to believe in yourself, to surmount the inevitable obstacles, to look for ways to sell your ideas. By engaging in creative activity yourself, you’ll be a great role model for your child. She’ll see how good it feels to engage in creativity.

If you’re a parent or a teacher, you’ve got chances every day to encourage the creativity of the children in your life. There’s no more exciting or important work you can do!

For more on these ideas, go to www.raisingsmarterkids.net

Sources: book in progress with Joanne Foster on raising smarter kids; Dan Keating’s work on defining creativity, specifically his article entitled ‘The Four Faces of Creativity’;  Bob Sternberg’s work on deciding for creativity, especially his article called ‘Identifying and Developing Creative Giftedness.’

July 3, 2012

Playtime and Chores

March 21, 2012

Why is it that some children seem to enjoy doing household chores, whereas others do everything they can to avoid anything that looks like work? Many of the most successful and productive adults have described their work as feeling like play. There is emerging evidence that the roots of mastery and achievement lie in early play experiences.

We got some interesting responses to my blog on playtime, where I made a case for kids needing lots of unstructured time to do what they want to do. I cited some research showing its importance in children’s development, including the increased likelihood of kids happily and voluntarily involving themselves in clean-up when they’re given enough time for child-directed play.

From Luc, we heard this about his son, Felix:

“Unstructured playtime”, I think that’s what Felix has been doing all his
life. He didn’t want Pokemon or Playstation. As a toddler, he was always ‘constructing’ something, using carton boxes, home furniture, ropes…
I remember having breakfast standing up, because I didn’t have time to
untangle the chairs he had tied together in a ‘construction’.

One thing’s for sure: “to take ownership of their own learning and their own
environments” is happening right now. He’s studying “morphology”, “syntaxis”, “linguistic sciences”, ancient Greek, colloquial Norwegian… while reading many books.

However, it looks like I missed one part somewhere along the route:
“co-operate independently in cleaning up after a free-choice period”.
Perhaps that’s related to my office desk looking like a garbage dump most
 of the time?

The same day that this note arrived from Luc, I read a delightful blog posted by Kelly Bartlett, the author of a blog called Parenting from Scratch. She describes herself as a ‘Certified Positive Discipline Educator who lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, children, and way too many pets.’

In her blog on chores, Kelly laid out what I recognize (from years of work as a developmental psychologist specialising in gifted development) to be a brilliant step-by-step plan for helping children acquire mastery in anything. She’s applying her plan to chores, but the same concepts apply just as well to musical, mathematical, linguistic, athletic, or any other kind of mastery.

Kelly writes:

When it comes to doing chores, there is a positive approach that can be summed up in two words: Take Time.

To teach, that is. Chores, while seemingly straightforward to us parents who do them all the time, take time for kids to learn. And we need to take time to teach them. And to expect independence with them. And also to form a habit of them. Oh, and enjoyment of them. Well, we might be waiting a LONG time for that one!

But promises of rewards and threats of consequences aren’t necessary as long as the chore-learning process is cooperative and encouraging. In our house, “We do it together,” is our motto right now, with an addendum of, “(until you can do it alone)” to come later. Here are the four steps that help us get there:

1. Model. They see me do stuff first.

2. They help me. I get to have an assistant.

3. I help them. Now it is their turn to take the lead.

4. They do it alone. We’ve done it enough times together that it is not unreasonable to expect them to get a job done on their own.

Of course, the length of time to get through this 4-step teaching process depends on the task. Getting the dog her food is much less complicated than cleaning one’s bedroom.

For big tasks, break the job up.  Make the bed. Put toys away. Pick up clothes. Vacuum. Clear dishes. Throw away garbage. Wipe surfaces. Each one is its own learning process. That’s why it’s overwhelming to say, “Clean your room,” and expect it to be done quickly and without supervision/ direction/ guidance/ help.

Here are some jobs that my kids were able to handle alone at various ages:

Age 1-2 (not expecting perfection)

  • dusting
  • fruit & veggie prep (washing & drying)
  • choosing clothes

Age 3-4 (also not expecting perfection, and expecting some “No’s)

  • setting table
  • folding laundry
  • getting dressed

Age 5-7

  • vacuuming
  • measure ingredients
  • pack own carry-on for trips

Though my kids can do these kinds of jobs on their own, I still expect to give directions as to when they need to be done. I don’t expect them to notice on their own and take the initiative to do some chores (except when the toilet needs to be plunged…that takes no prompting for JJ). At their ages, they simply have other priorities than I do. I think the first time I started taking initiative for doing chores is when I had my own house! That’s when it began to matter to me.

What if they say “No,” or argue when it’s time to do chores? My answer is, “Yes, let’s do it together.” Even if it’s a task that I know they can do on their own, they may simply be needing some extra encouragement right then. So my answer is, “Yes, it needs to get done. Let’s do it together.” I break the job up into “You do this and I’ll do that…” No arguing, negotiating, reasoning, bribing or threatening…just cooperation and some re-teaching. I expect to remind my kids often to do chores. I expect to teach them (“do it together”) for a long time. I remind myself that their whole childhood is time for teaching. Like me, my kids may not exhibit “proactive-chore-behavior” until they’ve moved out into their own place. But because of the years I’ve invested teaching chores and instilling the importance of getting jobs done, it will be second nature to tackle their own chores with confidence.

To see Kelly’s entire blog (from which this was excerpted), including great photographs, go to

http://parentingfromscratch.wordpress.com/

Luc’s story illustrates the value of free unstructured play, and it also demonstrates the importance of parents’ modeling the kind of behaviour they want to see in their kids. As Luc says, the fact that his desk is a mess is a clue to why Felix doesn’t volunteer for clean-up. And sometimes—specially if the creative free play has gone on for a while and resulted in a giant mess—clean-up can be daunting, which is where Kelly’s blog comes in. Her approach to chores illustrates the scaffolding—step-by-step support— kids need for learning anything. The more complex the task, the more scaffolding is needed. When this is embedded in normal daily life, the way Kelly describes, it becomes second nature, and kids are given a giant gift—it will be easier for them to achieve whatever they decide they want to achieve.

For more about how important chores are, and how to help kids learn to do them happily, go to http://www.worrywisekids.org/node/125

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